TOILET TRAINING
Learning To Use The Toilet
Toilet training is a process that involves both body and mind.
First, children need to be aware of their own bladder and bowel signals. In general, children show signs of bladder and bowel control between 18 and 24 months of age.
Second, children need to learn how to use the toilet. Children must be able to understand instructions and follow them. For example, they have to be able to sit or stand comfortably. They have to be able to pull down their pants and underpants as well as pull them back up.
Third, once children have bowel and bladder control and they know how to use the toilet, they need to be willing to use it. Toilet training struggles happen when children choose not to use the toilet. It’s important to remember that children can succeed at using the toilet but in their own time.
When to Start Toilet Training
The average age toilet training begins in the United States is between 2 and 3 years of age. Most children in the United States are bowel and bladder trained by 4 years of age. However, toilet training can begin as soon as parents and children are ready.
Here are some signs that a child is developmentally ready to start toilet training:
- Is dry at least 2 hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps
- Shows signs she is about to pee or poop, like grunting, freezing, or squatting
- Can follow simple instructions
- Can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress herself
- Does not like to be in wet diapers and wants to be changed
- Asks to use the toilet or potty-chair
- Asks to wear “big kid” underwear
- Keep the process positive- Choose the words your family will use to describe body parts, urine, and bowel movements. Avoid words that are negative like “dirty,” “naughty,” or “stinky.”
- Pick a potty-chair- A potty-chair is a child-sized seat with an opening in the seat and a removable container underneath to collect pee and poop. The child’s feet should be able to reach the floor. Books or toys for “potty time” may help make this time more fun.
- Be a role model- Let your child see you use the toilet and wash your hands afterward.
- Know the signs- When your child feels the urge to poop, you might notice grunting, squatting, or freezing. Her face may turn red while pooping. Explain briefly to your child that these signs mean a poop is about to come. If your child tells you about a wet diaper, praise her for “using her words.” It may take longer for her to notice the need to pee than the need to poop.
- Think of toilet training as toilet mastery- Invite your child to take over her toileting. Talk with her about how she will now be in charge of her pee and poop. Read children’s books about using the toilet to help the process make sense and seem inviting and exciting. When you start the process, try to turn as much of the care of toileting as possible over to your child.
- Make trips to the potty-chair a routine- Make a habit of seating your child onto the potty-chair first thing in the morning. Boys can urinate by sitting down first and can stand up to urinate when better at it.
- Expect hesitancy- Taking over toileting is a big step. Many children want their parents to take care of their pee and poop and may seek ways to keep parents involved, such as peeing and pooping in their pants. Gently help them overcome their hesitation. Help them stay in charge by having them be in charge of the cleanup.
- When toilet training starts, switch to big-kid underwear- Talk with your child about taking control and toileting in the toilet and not in her underwear. Some parents may use cloth training pants, which are a little thicker, to protect the child’s clothing. Diapers and disposable training pants send a message to the child that using the toilet is optional.
- Teach your child proper hygiene habits- Show your child how to wipe carefully. Girls should spread their legs apart when wiping. They should wipe thoroughly from front to back to prevent bringing germs from their rectum to their vagina or bladder. Make sure both boys and girls learn to wash their hands well after using the toilet.
- A word on praise- Avoid treats and punishments. Because this is an adventure for your child- a reach for new responsibility- treats and punishments distract rather than encourage. When your child succeeds, be specific about why you are proud. “I am so proud you are able to use the toilet so well,” is a good example.
- Avoid a power struggle- Some children may test their limits by holding back bowel movements. Try to stay calm about toilet training. Remember that children control when and where they pee and poop. So power struggles, begging, pleading, rewarding, and punishing keep children from managing their own toileting.
- Understand their fear- Some children believe that their pee and poop are part of their bodies. They may be scared the toilet will flush parts of them away. Some may also fear they will be sucked into the toilet if it is flushed while they are sitting on it. To give your child a feeling of control, let her flush the toilet.
- Watch for a desire to move up- Most of the time, your child will let you know when she is ready to move from the potty-chair to the “big toilet.” Provide a stool to brace her feet.
Major changes in the home may make toilet training more difficult. Sometimes it is a good idea to delay toilet training if:
- Your family has just moved or will move in the near future
- You are expecting a baby or have recently had a baby
- There is a major illness, a recent death, or some other family crisis
Adapted from information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
AAP Feed run on: 9/8/2024 Article information last modified on: 9/8/2024
TOILET TRAINING
Learning To Use The Toilet
Toilet training is a process that involves both body and mind.
First, children need to be aware of their own bladder and bowel signals. In general, children show signs of bladder and bowel control between 18 and 24 months of age.
Second, children need to learn how to use the toilet. Children must be able to understand instructions and follow them. For example, they have to be able to sit or stand comfortably. They have to be able to pull down their pants and underpants as well as pull them back up.
Third, once children have bowel and bladder control and they know how to use the toilet, they need to be willing to use it. Toilet training struggles happen when children choose not to use the toilet. It’s important to remember that children can succeed at using the toilet but in their own time.
When to Start Toilet Training
The average age toilet training begins in the United States is between 2 and 3 years of age. Most children in the United States are bowel and bladder trained by 4 years of age. However, toilet training can begin as soon as parents and children are ready.
Here are some signs that a child is developmentally ready to start toilet training:
- Is dry at least 2 hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps
- Shows signs she is about to pee or poop, like grunting, freezing, or squatting
- Can follow simple instructions
- Can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress herself
- Does not like to be in wet diapers and wants to be changed
- Asks to use the toilet or potty-chair
- Asks to wear “big kid” underwear
- Keep the process positive- Choose the words your family will use to describe body parts, urine, and bowel movements. Avoid words that are negative like “dirty,” “naughty,” or “stinky.”
- Pick a potty-chair- A potty-chair is a child-sized seat with an opening in the seat and a removable container underneath to collect pee and poop. The child’s feet should be able to reach the floor. Books or toys for “potty time” may help make this time more fun.
- Be a role model- Let your child see you use the toilet and wash your hands afterward.
- Know the signs- When your child feels the urge to poop, you might notice grunting, squatting, or freezing. Her face may turn red while pooping. Explain briefly to your child that these signs mean a poop is about to come. If your child tells you about a wet diaper, praise her for “using her words.” It may take longer for her to notice the need to pee than the need to poop.
- Think of toilet training as toilet mastery- Invite your child to take over her toileting. Talk with her about how she will now be in charge of her pee and poop. Read children’s books about using the toilet to help the process make sense and seem inviting and exciting. When you start the process, try to turn as much of the care of toileting as possible over to your child.
- Make trips to the potty-chair a routine- Make a habit of seating your child onto the potty-chair first thing in the morning. Boys can urinate by sitting down first and can stand up to urinate when better at it.
- Expect hesitancy- Taking over toileting is a big step. Many children want their parents to take care of their pee and poop and may seek ways to keep parents involved, such as peeing and pooping in their pants. Gently help them overcome their hesitation. Help them stay in charge by having them be in charge of the cleanup.
- When toilet training starts, switch to big-kid underwear- Talk with your child about taking control and toileting in the toilet and not in her underwear. Some parents may use cloth training pants, which are a little thicker, to protect the child’s clothing. Diapers and disposable training pants send a message to the child that using the toilet is optional.
- Teach your child proper hygiene habits- Show your child how to wipe carefully. Girls should spread their legs apart when wiping. They should wipe thoroughly from front to back to prevent bringing germs from their rectum to their vagina or bladder. Make sure both boys and girls learn to wash their hands well after using the toilet.
- A word on praise- Avoid treats and punishments. Because this is an adventure for your child- a reach for new responsibility- treats and punishments distract rather than encourage. When your child succeeds, be specific about why you are proud. “I am so proud you are able to use the toilet so well,” is a good example.
- Avoid a power struggle- Some children may test their limits by holding back bowel movements. Try to stay calm about toilet training. Remember that children control when and where they pee and poop. So power struggles, begging, pleading, rewarding, and punishing keep children from managing their own toileting.
- Understand their fear- Some children believe that their pee and poop are part of their bodies. They may be scared the toilet will flush parts of them away. Some may also fear they will be sucked into the toilet if it is flushed while they are sitting on it. To give your child a feeling of control, let her flush the toilet.
- Watch for a desire to move up- Most of the time, your child will let you know when she is ready to move from the potty-chair to the “big toilet.” Provide a stool to brace her feet.
Major changes in the home may make toilet training more difficult. Sometimes it is a good idea to delay toilet training if:
- Your family has just moved or will move in the near future
- You are expecting a baby or have recently had a baby
- There is a major illness, a recent death, or some other family crisis
Adapted from information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
AAP Feed run on: 9/8/2024 Article information last modified on: 9/8/2024
