WELCOMING A NEW SIBLING- HELPING YOUR CHILD ADJUST
Children Aged 1 to 2 Years
Before your new baby arrives:
- Read children’s books about newborns and siblings with your child. She can become familiar with words such as “sister,” “brother,” and “new baby.”
- Make sure the focus isn’t all on your new baby. Give your child a special gift from the baby. Plan frequent one-on-one dates with your child without the baby around.
- Explain to your child that sometimes you need to take care of baby first. However, older siblings may be able to help with feeding time or bath time.
Before your new baby arrives:
- Find chances to talk about baby. For example, you can mention that a new baby will be in the family when you start buying new furniture or newborn clothing or when your child starts asking about mom’s growing belly. Continue to read children’s books about newborns and siblings with your child.
- Remind your child when she was a baby. Show your child her baby pictures. If you are going to use some of her old baby things, let her play with them a bit before you get them ready for the new baby. Buy your child a doll so that she can take care of “her” baby.
- Be honest. Explain that the baby will be cute but will also cry and take a lot of your time and attention. Also, make sure your child knows that it may be a while before she can play with the new baby, and, when she plays or helps care for the baby, she needs to be gentle. Reassure your child that you will love her just as much after the baby is born, as you do now.
- Involve your child in planning for baby. This will make her less jealous. Let her shop with you for baby items.
- Time major changes in your child’s routine. If you can, finish toilet training or switching from a crib to a bed before the baby arrives. If that is not possible, put it off until after the baby is settled at home. Otherwise, your child may feel overwhelmed by trying to learn new things on top of all the changes caused by the new baby.
- Tell your child about mom’s upcoming hospital stay with baby. You can tell your child that you and the new baby will need to stay in the hospital until the doctor says its ok to go home.
- Expect your child to regress a little. Children may go back to an earlier stage in their development when a new baby arrives. They will act like a baby to get attention. For example, your child might want to drink from a baby bottle. Instead of telling her to act her age, give her the attention she needs. You may tell her that whenever she feels upset to whisper in your ear “I need attention.” When she does, respond as quickly as possible. Praise her when she acts more grown-up.
- Set aside a special time for your child. Read, play games, listen to music, or simply talk together. Make her feel like she’s a part of things by having her cuddle next to you when you feed the baby.
- Find ways to invite your child to help. You want to make your older child feel included. This helps build a bond between siblings, reduce jealousy, and promote curiosity.
- Ask family and friends to spend time with your older child when they come to see the new baby. It may also help for family and friends to give her a small gift when they bring a gift for the baby.
- Have your child spend one-on-one time with dad or other family members.
Children older than 5 years are usually not as threatened by a new baby as younger children are. However, they may resent the attention the new baby receives.
Before your new baby arrives:
- Tell your child what is happening in words you can understand. Explain what having a new baby means and what changes may affect her.
- Have your child help prepare things for the new baby. Your child can help fix up the baby’s room, pick out clothes, or buy diapers.
- Have someone bring your older child to the hospital to meet the new baby. This will help her feel included as part of the growing family.
- When you bring the new baby home, give your older child a role to play in caring for the baby. Tell her she can hold the baby as long as she asks first. Teach her how to hold the baby. Praise her when she is gentle and loving toward the baby.
- Do not overlook your older child’s needs and activities. Make an effort to spend some time alone with her each day as well.
- Ask for help If you feel overwhelmed. Accept help from your partner, relatives, and friends. It is important to make time to care for yourself.
- Remember to make time for your partner. Children of couples who have a strong and loving relationship are more likely to adjust well to the new baby. Taking time to nurture your relationship with your partner can ease the transition to having a new baby for everyone.
Adapted from information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
WELCOMING A NEW SIBLING- HELPING YOUR CHILD ADJUST
Children Aged 1 to 2 Years
Before your new baby arrives:
- Read children’s books about newborns and siblings with your child. She can become familiar with words such as “sister,” “brother,” and “new baby.”
- Make sure the focus isn’t all on your new baby. Give your child a special gift from the baby. Plan frequent one-on-one dates with your child without the baby around.
- Explain to your child that sometimes you need to take care of baby first. However, older siblings may be able to help with feeding time or bath time.
Before your new baby arrives:
- Find chances to talk about baby. For example, you can mention that a new baby will be in the family when you start buying new furniture or newborn clothing or when your child starts asking about mom’s growing belly. Continue to read children’s books about newborns and siblings with your child.
- Remind your child when she was a baby. Show your child her baby pictures. If you are going to use some of her old baby things, let her play with them a bit before you get them ready for the new baby. Buy your child a doll so that she can take care of “her” baby.
- Be honest. Explain that the baby will be cute but will also cry and take a lot of your time and attention. Also, make sure your child knows that it may be a while before she can play with the new baby, and, when she plays or helps care for the baby, she needs to be gentle. Reassure your child that you will love her just as much after the baby is born, as you do now.
- Involve your child in planning for baby. This will make her less jealous. Let her shop with you for baby items.
- Time major changes in your child’s routine. If you can, finish toilet training or switching from a crib to a bed before the baby arrives. If that is not possible, put it off until after the baby is settled at home. Otherwise, your child may feel overwhelmed by trying to learn new things on top of all the changes caused by the new baby.
- Tell your child about mom’s upcoming hospital stay with baby. You can tell your child that you and the new baby will need to stay in the hospital until the doctor says its ok to go home.
- Expect your child to regress a little. Children may go back to an earlier stage in their development when a new baby arrives. They will act like a baby to get attention. For example, your child might want to drink from a baby bottle. Instead of telling her to act her age, give her the attention she needs. You may tell her that whenever she feels upset to whisper in your ear “I need attention.” When she does, respond as quickly as possible. Praise her when she acts more grown-up.
- Set aside a special time for your child. Read, play games, listen to music, or simply talk together. Make her feel like she’s a part of things by having her cuddle next to you when you feed the baby.
- Find ways to invite your child to help. You want to make your older child feel included. This helps build a bond between siblings, reduce jealousy, and promote curiosity.
- Ask family and friends to spend time with your older child when they come to see the new baby. It may also help for family and friends to give her a small gift when they bring a gift for the baby.
- Have your child spend one-on-one time with dad or other family members.
Children older than 5 years are usually not as threatened by a new baby as younger children are. However, they may resent the attention the new baby receives.
Before your new baby arrives:
- Tell your child what is happening in words you can understand. Explain what having a new baby means and what changes may affect her.
- Have your child help prepare things for the new baby. Your child can help fix up the baby’s room, pick out clothes, or buy diapers.
- Have someone bring your older child to the hospital to meet the new baby. This will help her feel included as part of the growing family.
- When you bring the new baby home, give your older child a role to play in caring for the baby. Tell her she can hold the baby as long as she asks first. Teach her how to hold the baby. Praise her when she is gentle and loving toward the baby.
- Do not overlook your older child’s needs and activities. Make an effort to spend some time alone with her each day as well.
- Ask for help If you feel overwhelmed. Accept help from your partner, relatives, and friends. It is important to make time to care for yourself.
- Remember to make time for your partner. Children of couples who have a strong and loving relationship are more likely to adjust well to the new baby. Taking time to nurture your relationship with your partner can ease the transition to having a new baby for everyone.
Adapted from information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
